funny response to are you still alive funny response to are you still alive

If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. If you are in a coma, then that is a valid excuse for not texting back. I just adore my own company. 18. Some people spend all their time on their phone. If you have nothing to add and to share with a person, this saves their day, too. Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? 75. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Hey, whered you get that nose? But, they will grow up into a dog. Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. A little bit worse now that youve asked. I'm happy! I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. Cant complainI have tried, but no one listens. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. Don Draper? 52. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. Because your ass is out of this world! How do you usually respond to the question? [*clap your hands*]. 17. Yup, I dont share it. Its a shame you cant Photoshop your personality. (Use a sexy tone). Awwits so cute when you talk about things you dont understand. Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. 13. Funny give back answer for who are your ex boyfriends? Brian OldWolf (author) from Troon on July 30, 2020: Yes, this is a very witty, funny article. I only fall in love with anime characters. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". For example, if it is a friend, you can be funny or witty. 20. I learned my lesson. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. If ugliness was measured in bricks, I would be the Great Wall of China. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. 61. I'd love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Do you ever find yourself getting annoyed with yourself because you just thought of an awesomely good comeback to something someone said earlier? Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" Its better to be single with high standards than be in a relationship settling for less. 78. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal Acting like a prick doesnt make yours grow bigger. If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. 82. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. More like give me a sign that you're still alive. Oh, stop it, will you? Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. 3. However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? My bad, its just your mouth. I think I am doing alright. You might just find one. It's best part of the whole movie. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. We found the best coronavirus memes about social distancing, toilet paper, homeschooling, as well as ways to spread a little more kindness. 14. So, it might be wise to double-check theyre still alive before you complain. 65. but it's just so blunt and funny. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. Sounds like effort to me. Impressive! 5. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . But, whats the likelihood of that happening? 14. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Funny Responses to Everyday Questions. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? There might be little things that go wrong throughout your life, but at least you're still living it. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! If they take several days to talk to you again, thats a sign that either they dont want to talk to you, or, they were so dirty that its taken them that song to shower. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. Speak Now Or Forever Hold Your Peace: What Does It Mean? Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. I have a gold watch that belonged to him. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. We all grow up as we get older. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: 40. A romantic relationship would severely impair my crime-fighting order of business. I'm used to it, anyway. Everything is always better on payday right!? You can put your foot in your mouth and your head up your ass at the same time! Financially? You enjoy making this girl smile and make her day with your humor. 56. 8. While most of us answer with an uninspired I am fine, thank you, the universal greeting question how are you? It can be good to just say it how it is. Come to think of it, your face is old, too. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) She works wit more, Harini Natarajan , Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Expertise: Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty more. Not Bad. Want to equip yourself with more responses? Plotting how Im going to take over the world. You go first, lets see if mine was better or worse. 15. Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. But Ive also had better. Could be better, though. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. 51. Everyday that you're on the right side of the grass is a good day. I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. Obviously, thats because I dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend! I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". 14. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . 16. 11. 1. I always root for the little guy. Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. 74. Living an amazing dream. 71. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. Is everything stable at your end? 39 Heartfelt Poems For Your Mom On Her Birthday, Mom And Daughter Relationship: Everything You Need To Know, 150 Special Ways To Wish Your Long-Distance Girlfriend On Her Birthday, 39 Long-Distance Love Letters To Show Your Love For Him, 51 Good Morning Messages For Her In A Long-Distance Relationship, 24 Beautiful And Touching Poems For People In Long-Distance Relationships, 15 Most Important Things In A Relationship, 61 Great Long-Distance Friendship Quotes And Sayings, 9 Important Qualities Of A Healthy And Happy Relationship. Does the new one work any better? "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. 9. My grandfather had a ton of these. The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens butt and wait. How are you? You win the internet. Funny as phuck. At minding my own business? Youre not as bad as everyone says. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. 1. 1. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. funny response to are you still alive. What should I doI like you too much. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Liked what you just read? Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! In fact, theyre taking too much of it. 1. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. Because they are already taking their time. *licks lips*. Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? 6. This is one of those worst epic responses to I love you makes us feel for the poor love-struck fellow. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. If I wanted to commit suicide, Id climb your ego and jump to your IQ level. Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. Your response should depend on the rapport you share with the sender. is willie rogers of the soul stirrers still alive; cal berkeley football recruiting questionnaire; american housewife cancelled. Its too small to be out there all alone. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. 2. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. Canva. 31. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Are you serious? Do you want the short or the detailed version? Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. Talk is cheapbut then again, so are you. What an impertinent question to ask a girl! I am the hurricane setting fire to the forests at night when no one else is alive or awake however you choose to see it and I live in my own flames sometimes burning too bright and too wild to make things last or handle myself or anyone else and so I run. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. 3. parkerbilly 3 yr. ago. Physically? Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. With Tenor, maker of GIF Keyboard, add popular Are You Still Alive animated GIFs to your conversations. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. Sure isnt my pay, Im still pretty broke. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. Id smack you, but that would be animal abuse. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! 24. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. If you are not happy being single, then you will never be happy being in a relationship. Me being single is just a conspiracy! For more information, please see our Usually, people live and learn. I always yawn when Im interested. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Looking for funny responses to everyday questions? If I had a tail, I'd wag it. What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. Through humorous musings about Scalia's . On this page, I've gathered together 100 of the best. 1. You speak as if youre not single yourself! Like are you asking because you really wanna hear whats up?. alive # dead meat # tremors # kill count # survived # reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once reaction # united states of al # dean norris # unitedstatesofal # you only live once 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. Because youre highly qualified. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! Because they are already taking their time. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. Who knows, they might just do it. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". It lets him know that you love spending time together. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. My lawyer told me not to answer that question. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." Lord Byron (poet) 2. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. I hope you are at your best too. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. "Hey You, I'm really good. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. Im still trying to figure out an answer to that question if Im honest. Maybe you can Google it. Here are some of the most humorous replies to "How are you? On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! Alive Jokes. 3. I'm loved! In the past, one way to send messages was to attach them to a pigeon. What's your sign? 12. 67. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Break the cycle, rise above, focus on science! 42. You should really come with a warning label. Its always annoying when people take a long time to reply. Maybe they like you so much that it triggered some kind of reaction that ended their life. 28. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. Your email address will not be published. I'm alive, whoa! 43. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. Turning the question around on them without actually having to answer? Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. 70. Your birth certificate is an apology to your parents from the hospital. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Are those space pants? Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. You have an old soul. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. The following two tabs change content below. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. Are you going to marry me? Did someone leave your cage open? Because Im awkward and ugly. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. Holy s**t, you can see me?! Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. This is a good response to throw out there. How do you want me to be? WHY!? 63. Now that is pretty f****** funny. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? It's impossible for things to be perfect. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. Could Be Better. Getting better with every passing second. Mentally? Then you die. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. No, waitIm actually plural. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? It must have been a long, lonely journey. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. "Still alive" is polite. Are you going to help me have a good day? Sort: Relevant Newest # living # seth meyers # im here # its me # lnsm # tired # dead # shot # arrows # loser # hello # hi # hey # tap # listen # alive # pearl jam # eddie vedder # i'm good # i'm ok Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. 7. 5. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? 12. On a scale of one to punching someone in the face, I am at 7.5. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. Hello, how are you? 59. If I had a tail, I would wag it! Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. I dont think youre an idiot but whats my opinion compared to countless others? I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. He will be missed. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. . Come on, now I want you to whisper that question slowly to my ear. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. The only thing offending me right now is your face. I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. 92. 4. This one is bound to get a laugh. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. 94. I'm glad to know that you're alive.". Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. Spiritually? - Anonymous. Then they throw dirt in your face. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. So, ditch the mechanical responses and adopt the witty and fun replies to keep the conversations exciting! and our Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. Maybe you said something so vile, so horrible, so disgusting that they no longer want to speak to you. What do you mean Im still single. Thats because theres no vacancy in my heart. The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. . How did you get here? Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Well, I'm old enough to beat you in a marathon. You were a young man when you last spoke. I suggest you do a little soul searching. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! I have found that people in a coma find it very difficult to hold a phone, turn it on, look at their messages, think of a reply, and then type out their reply. Call the police." 13 Quora User Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. These comebacks are best for those situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. - Anonymous. I mean, no matter how amazing our lives are, there's always something to complain about. The 'Sex And The City' Cab Light Theory, Revisited, It's Hot When People Call You By Your Last Name, I Never Feel Older Than When I Try To Make A TikTok, Get Even More From Bustle Sign Up For The Newsletter. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Now you can be! Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. Because Jamaican me crazy! 32. If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. In fact, they're taking too much of it. 5. Are you asking just to make yourself feel better? I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? To read all future answers to your comment, please bookmark this page. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! Hi! Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. Hanging on. I'm alive! 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. 10. Nah, just kidding (though it might be true to some of you). Youll go far someday. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. Haha basically a sassy way to say, "I'm still alive." Surveys show that divorce rates are nonexistent among single people.